Persevering through terrible experiences

The worst experiences are the ones which bring about the best strengths and character.

Once a man prayed god to give him strength, God responded by keeping a huge heavy rock blocking him. The man had to struggle to push it out of his way. It took many days. But at the end of it he got what he wanted - Strength. Due to the constant pushing of the rocks he had a well developed musculature, and his arms had become strong - This is how God answers prayers.


Some experiences in my life are so strong and so terrible - that i end up completely identifying myself with the mind. It happens within a flash of a second. one thought leads to the other ultimately resulting in a miserable state of mind with all the emotions surging like a volcano eruption.

On the goal to the merger with Siva there are many many pitfalls - major one being how we respond to the experiences in life. As long as we react, these miserable experiences keep repeating. The experiences stop when we have understood them and stop reacting to them. End of the day it was an experience - neither favorable or unfavorable, but a result of some past karma carrying some lesson and necessary for the evolution of the soul.

The spiritual path is a long, enduring process. It does not reach fruition in a year or two years.

The spiritual path brings lots of ups and downs, and the greatest challenges will come to the greatest souls. With this in mind, it becomes clear that steadiness and perseverance are absolutely essential on the spiritual path.
- Gurudeva

In the Shandilya Upanishad (upm, p. 173-174, dhriti (steadfastness)) has been described as preserving firmness of mind during the period of gain or loss of relatives/friends/a loved one. This implies that during times of sorrow, difficult karmas, loss and temptation, when in mental pain and anguish, being misunderstood by a loved one, while suffering a heart-break, feeling alone and neglected, we can persevere, be decisive and bring forth the dhriti or steadfastness strength within us and thus prevail.

Life has been providing these experiences to me lately, probably due to my own past karma, however the good part is it is giving me a chance to exhibit the quality of dhriti. My guru was tru when He said that the world is our university and each experiences is there to test us. From past 2 days, i can say that i have got a some amount of success in being steadfast and im happy about it. Going forward it will be the way i live my life.

One translator of the Varuha Upanishad used the word courage to translate dhriti. Courageous and fearless people who are just and honest prevail over all karmas--benevolent, terrible and confused. This virtue is much like the monk's vow of humility, part of which is enduring hardship with equanimity, ease of mind, which means not panicking.

The Tirukural reminds us, "It is the nature of asceticism to patiently endure hardship and to not harm living creatures" (261). And we can say that dhriti itself is a "hard ship"--a ship that can endure and persevere on its course even when tossed about on the waves of a turbulent sea.

Many a times I wonder why it is good to passively endure hardship. To persevere through hardship one must understand, as all Hindus do, that any hardship coming to us we ourselves participated in setting into motion in the past. To endure hardship and rise above it in consciousness is to overcome that karma forever. To resent hardship, to fight it, is to have it return later at a most inconvenient time.

The following steps will be put into effect from this day in order to express the quality of dhriti - steadfastness more effectively:

• An essential part of steadfastness is overcoming changeableness. Changeableness means indecision, not being decisive, changing one's mind after making a deliberate, positive decision. Changing one's mind can be a positive thing, but making a firm, well-considered decision and not following it through would gain one the reputation of not being dependable, even of being weak-minded. No one wants a reputation like this.

• To be steadfast, you have to use your willpower. Willpower is developed easily in a person who has an adequate memory and good reasoning faculties. To be steadfast as we go through life, we must have a purpose, a plan, persistence and push. Then nothing is impossible within the circumference of our prarabdha karmas.

• It is impossible to be steadfast if we are not obeying the other restraints that the rishis of the Himalayas laid down for us as the fruits of their wisdom. All of these restraints build character, and dhriti, steadfastness, rests on the foundation of good character. Character--the ability to "act with care"--is built slowly, over time, with the help of relatives, preceptors and good-hearted friends.
  

• Observe those who are steadfast. You will learn from them. Observe those who are not, and they, too, will teach you. They will teach what you should not do. To be indecisive and changeable is not how you should be on the path to enlightenment, nor to be successful in any other pursuit.

• Surrender all resistances unto Him - know thats All is Siva, everything is His will, and He is the ultimate well wisher of the soul.

Bhagwan Baba - a perfect example of steadfastness gave me a good darshan at whitefield yesterday for more than half an hour. He has a major backbone problem and a deteriorating physical condition - yet He arrives for darshan regularly everyday to bless His devotees. His projects that were discussed during a speech yesterday - are a perfect example of how seemingly impossible things are made possible by power of will and steadfastness. Sri Sathya Sai Water supply project which supplies drinking water to the whole of Godavari district, Sri Sathya Sai Super Speciality Hospital - providing free health care to all people including the tribal people who have no money - Shame on all the so called great countries like USA, UK, Australia and the whole of Europe for these countries cannot even think of something even close to "free" health care despite their technological advancements !

Thank you Baba for all the things you have done selflessly to mankind and for answering my prayer yesterday regarding Mr Manjunath and family, and for calling me for your darshan. I dedicate this blog post to You.

Pure Love

whats the difference between love and attachment ? it appears like both are one and the same. Sometimes in this world we love people -- get attached to them and during the process get burned leading to frustration. Givers keep giving and when they aren't acknowledged, they fall as victims of frustration. What exactly is true love all about thats spoken in the scriptures ?

Love is the sum of all the spiritual laws.

We may say that love is the heart of the mind. Anything that comes before you in life can be conquered through universal love, a force which is a demonstration of the soul. Universal love has nothing to do with emotional infatuation, attachment or lust. It flows freely through the person whose mind is unclouded by resentment, malice, greed and anger. But in persons whose minds are partially out of control and under the control of another, the force of the soul ends up as infatuation or attachment.

I have experienced/experiencing these states myself in life and struggled to get out of these.

Pure love is a state of Being. Whereas everyone is running around trying to get love, it is found in giving. When a person begins to lose the idea of his own personality through concern for others, he will attract a like response to himself. The outgoing force of the soul in action brings freedom to the lower states of mind. The instinctive person is ordinarily so preoccupied with his own self, so wrapped up in his own shell, that he cannot give a thought to the welfare of another. He cannot give anything of himself. Such a person usually feels sorry for himself and finds other people unloving and unresponsive. He is still far from any realization of the Self within.

The unfortunate person who is burdened by resentment, for instance, feels that the world owes him more kindness than he is receiving. When he loses his resentment for the world simply by becoming interested in people, the world will once again reflect back the expression of this soul force, known as universal love.

Personally i have found practicing this goal of selfless love has burnt me a lot in life and has made me feel miserable. To lose myself in another's happiness even though its affecting me and burning me. Nevertheless it has to be done. The cycles of tension and release, tension and release -- which are constantly given birth to in the instinctive and intellectual state of mind -- are only broken as the unfolding soul expresses itself in devotion, breaking up the crust of personal concern and hurt feelings.

I have decided to break this crust of personal concern and hurt feelings completely and i have a plan to achieve it.

Anantha Varthamanam - The eternal "Now"

What is the instant? That is what we have to discover through a moment of concentration. What is the moment? This brings awareness to the "Now"

Just as an example, how many times have you gone to the temple without being fully there? Part of you was there, part of you was living in the past, part of you was trying to live in the future; and there you were, emoting over the things that happened that should never have happened, and fearful of things that might happen in the future, which probably won't happen unless you continue being fearful of their happening until you create them!

Do you know that the ability to live right now, in the instant, is a spiritual power, reflecting the awakening of the soul and requiring a subconscious control of the mind? Your soul is never bothered with the things that disturb the rest of the mind! The mind lives in the past, and the mind tries to live in the future. But when you quiet your mind, you live in the present. You are living within your soul, or the higher state of your mind which is undisturbed by the things of time.


When you continue in the consciousness of the eternal now, something mysterious and wonderful begins to happen -- your soul, your superconscious, begins to work out your spiritual destiny. When you quiet your mind, and only when you quiet your mind, you give your soul a chance. What difference does it make if you do have problems? They will work themselves out if you can keep the confusion of your lower states of mind out of the way.


When you find yourself with your mind calmed, your future automatically works itself out. It takes the average person some time before he can bring his entire mind and all his actions into the focus of the eternal now. Just hearing about it is not going to give you a birth into that state of consciousness. You will have to struggle and strive to hold the eternal now. It will take constant practice of spiritual principles to permeate the grosser layers of the mind with the clarity of the eternal now.


The Practice


As the first attempt in finding the infinite reality of the eternity of the moment, sit quietly, draw all of your faculties into the center of your head and try to see the glowing white light there. When this light is seen, a high-pitched sound might also be heard, and you are then in the eternity of the moment. Bringing oneself to the repetition of this practice successfully and systematically, day after day, month after month, year after year is the yoga to be practiced to merge awareness deeper and deeper into superconsciousness.

Below is a beautiful poem (Courtesy : http://busker.net/text/lyrics/collectedlyric.htm) describing the eternal now from Buddhism

all is one
joy is to be sung
life has just begun
in eternal now

for eternal now lies in between each thought
but the ego lays its' traps and we are caught
held in its web of suffering
and the only way to freedom is within eternal now

So love while you can
every child of man
life is not - 'I am'
in eternal now


So love while you may
all that comes your way
life is for today
in eternal now


but thanks can be given
till this world is riven
life is just for living
in eternal now

Be energy, think energy, feel energy

My Next goal to be attained : Steadfastness, dhriti: Overcoming nonperseverance,fear, indecision and changeableness.


Feel the energy at the centre of the spine, its like feeling something in a hollow space in you - something intangible. Its that easy to grasp the essence of the inner being, that which powers the nerves, the hands and the legs. That is the energy powers the whole body, powers the fingers i use to type, the same energy which manifests thoughts, the same energy which also makes me react. The same energy works in everyone and either makes a person a saint or a sinner depending on how he uses it. My guru says - Be this energy always. On doing it, one starts living in the present, soon starts seeing the clear white light in the head and things fall under the right perspective. Practice supersedes philosophy, intellectual knowing, everything -- so Be the energy and claim the inner being as you.

Its a higher state of consciousness to live in and you are more aware.

Remember that all the greatest souls have had the toughest experiences, heartbreaks, emotional disasters, they have also had the greatest temptations and distractions, they have all had enough experiences, so many experiences to make their awareness finally turn in on itself and be the pure energy. Enjoy the doing, enjoy the journey when you do it - not the end result, because the one which waits for the end result is but a subconscious habit pattern not the all intuitive self. Aum

Cyclic Habit Patterns

Old habit patterns repeat themselves when you are least aware. Thats why its very important to keep awareness continuously renewed in the present and remember past mistakes in order to not repeat them. A similar experience which i had blogged a few months back repeated itself. Life is truly a great university of constant learning. Its important to be steadfast in spiritual learning and meditation on a daily basis to improve and not repeat past mistakes. Laziness is a bad habit which doesn't allow a person to be steadfast. It often accompanies "Tiredness", so people who are tired often tend to be lazy. By controlling breath, it is possible to keep the mind and body relaxed and never get tired. So which again comes to keeping awareness always at the present. If this is possible -- all will be well.

Instead of getting frustrated when goals are missed - follow what the Tirumantiram states

The holy scripture - Tirumantiram states

When you seek to reach the Lord and miss your goal, take it as the work of your past evil karmas and fervently persevere in your devotion. You shall, at last, reach the Primal Lord.

Tirumantiram 2668

Effect of meditation - evolution of the soul

Off late im observing the biggest motivator for my meditation. Its the experiences in life that come soon after a deep meditation. They come unexpectedly and are so necessary for my own evolution. The experiences teach something after i have had their experience provided i had been observant.

Had i forgotten doing meditation for a few days -- the experiences dont come --- or rather come at a very slow pace and even if they come i end up not noticing them -- thereby not learning anything out of it.

Experiencing this fact right now in Singapore as i write this blog on my vacation.

Now is experiencing so many things at a time good ? Yes, Yes, the reason is here --- " -- Then finally it will have enough experiences flowing through the mind to turn in on itself. When this happens, certain faculties come into being. One of them is willpower. And we learn to hold attention. We learn to hold awareness at attention. "

Attention, is the first ingredient to attain self realization, Concentration, Meditation, Contemplation are the next ingredients which finally lead man to his final goal of living on this planet.

The more the experiences the soul faces, the more evolved and older it gets -- thereby fastening the attainment of the ultimate goal.