Approaching death of the ego

Sometimes god gives our ego a new low. He redefines how much the ego should bend to humility. such an experience lightens the heart but leaves a memory and a mark.

I observe the same fear in people all around the world -- job related insecurity, old age and being single, divorced people who feel people with family are blessed, lonely people who resort to mindfulness and meditation. Happening all over the world. I attended a sangha meditation centre in Milwaukee and saw that a pediatrician was there, an old lawyer was there, a man who was about to get divorced was there, old women who are about to die were there, relative middle aged people who have gone through much sufferings were there.

Sometimes we don't understand why people dislike us -- but go deep inside them and it becomes clear the sufferings that they are going through and what it is which is making them hate us. when someone does something to you which you are not able to understand, it means there is something about you which you don't understand yourself. Why? because the same energy flows in them which is flowing in you. Everyone is behaving out of conditioning and therefore nobody is guilty. Yet nobody is innocent because they have a choice on how to use their energies. Wow -- such an awesome creation of God. He creates the world of opposites and gives a choice to souls.

Looking again at the back of the mind, there is nothing else other than the present moment all the time. memories is what makes the mind interfere. As UG Krishnamurthy says there is no way you can experience anything at all without the knowledge of it. The vicious cycle is such that Knowledge "enables" experiencer to experience and the experiences fortifies the knowledge. In the present moment there is no memory, no knowledge, no experience -- just beingness. Yet there is no word to describe the state. Buddha calls it emptyiness, Jesus called it the fullness of life. Yet they all describe the same thing.

Past

Havent been able to meditate for this whole month now. Was blessed with a baby boy on 11th sept. Was on board to Pune that night. The happiness was great and unimaginable. Had a few more experiences and learnings after that. I'm looking eye to eye with my son with awe and respect. Who could he be ? He could be a soul who could have been an ancestor of mine, perhaps a very dear grandmother/grandfather, a cousin/friend who passed on when young or a great rishi who has come for the upliftment of mankind, perhaps my guru himself? Who could he be? I will never know unless my observation becomes very keen.

Also observed how quickly the subconscious mind builds up in the absence of daily sadhana. Im observing that since the past few days, the past and future appearing more real to me than ever before. Mind often goes to past off late, going back to experiences which were pleasant or unpleasant. I need to engage my willpower again in controlling the built up odic forces. i pray lord ganesha again as usual, to get back on track. Aum

My Aphorisms

 

• You and you alone give permanence to a thought and protect it by thinking about it.

• Neither are you the body, the mind, the breath , the ears or the eyes, these are different manifestations of the mind.

• The motivation thought strata is the first thought to sub-consciously arrive when you want to do or say anything to anybody. The same can be observed when others are doing something or talking

• When you have stopped thinking and started "knowing" - Intuition works best and you are perceiving. It is also one way to realize that you are in a meditative state and functioning in higher chakras. Life and its experiences then become a study.

• The "I" thought itself is another thought isnt it ? It was programmed since childhood, is there something called "I" ? Whats the "I", its not my hand, legs, heart, brain, or mind? Its just another thought created in the mind dammit :-)

• Am I one or two ? There is an Observer and then a Thinker/Talker within me. The observer uses physical eyes to see the world and the mental eye (third eye) to observe thoughts.

• The underlying reason for anger is fear.

• The underlying reason for fear is attachment

• When in an argument in a conversation realize that you have gone down to the Svadhistana chakras which are of the odic nature. Self doubt, limitations about ones capability comes only when one hits the lower three chakras - Svadhistana, Muladhara and manipura.

• Know that you are an actinic being with infinite willpower and live in contemplation in the upper chakras namely - anahat, visuddha and ajna

• When you "know" you need to do something soon and don’t do it because you "think" of various reasons why you cant do it - you are repeating mistakes and progress will be decelerated.

Bliss :)

Simshumbisi 


Thoughts are blobs, small bubbles which pop up before they either remain and vanish there in the mind or are converted into words or actions. We are often not conscious of the thoughts which we are about to say. Generally we do not wait to see if the thought that appears - which is about to channel out into a sound from the throat is going to be beneficial for oneself and for people around or not.

Just went through a situation where I was able to focus on the things that mattered most to me though there were many thoughts and reactions trying to appear in the Strata of the mind, subconscious mind. That brings an interesting possibility - the power to choose which thoughts are important and which aren't. Which needs to be delivered, which needs to be dissolved, and which needs to go out on paper with a pen - and then get into fire during the Maha Vasana Daha Tantra.

If the mind can concentrate and choose and focus on what really needs to be done - it leads to a situation where the mind is calm and at bliss even if the surroundings are in chaos. For this to function effectively in the long term - and anytime on demand - its important to practice regular meditation so that - at will the sadhaka can enter the Simshumbisi State - described in the Shum language. One feels all spine in this state, seen from the third eye - it looks like a column of light litting up the spine and branching out at the top and the bottom.

Being in Simshumbisi it is very easy to recognize thought blobs - and decide whether they are important - whether they need to be acted upon - or not. Jai Ganapathi.

Karmic Energy


Off late im able to observe the flow of karmic energies between myself and the people I interact with, it can give me a signal in advance whether the flow is going to be harmonious or not and based on that take action. I dont know since when but this perception of the flow of energies has just appeared and has been helping me to keep the pranic flow harmoniously in many meetings with people.

Aum Namah Sivaya !

Powerful Meditation

Last night there was a power cut at home & hence me and my wife went upstairs on the terrace for a walk. After some walk, she started listening to Music on her MP3 player while I sat cross legged on the terrace floor for a meditation.

- Took some 5 minutes for my mental and physical systems to cool down

- After that awareness was just in the present completely, the sound of the neighbourhood, the feel of the breeze, the honks of distant vehicles in the city, the sound of my own breath, walking sound of my wife, sound of the leaves, and there was no me, just perception. This might have continues for 10 minutes or so though I was not aware of the time.

- Then mind entered contemplation – to observe the observer of all the perceptions that were happening. This was when I observed the breath had come to standstill, i.e. the incoming and outgoing breath was neutralized to a very short in-out breath which almost became standstill. Was in this state for the next 5 minutes.

- The next moment I observe I was feeling my spine, I was feeling myself as in the observer, in the infinite super-conscious state. There was a mild light at the top of my head and also sound. Together there was a heaviness feeling in my head – as if all the activity was only in head and the body awareness was lost. I was just the head and spine – that how I felt. It was a beautiful state. Don’t know how long it lasted but i dont remember anything on the material plane during this state. No more sound of external world disturbed me or even came to my notice.

- Then my guru appeared in my meditation vision & he was cross-legged just like me. Then we spoke a few things which happened very fast. Next thing I remember is my wife calling me for dinner as power was back. I stayed in the same state for 5 mintes feeling completely refreshed, rejuvinated and full of energy.

Thanks to my guru for guiding me into such a wonderful meditation.

Its all in the Mind

 

Loved this quote which i received from a friend on SMS

If you can’t fly, run. If you can’t run, walk. If you can’t walk, crawl, but by all means keep moving.
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Having this new experience quite frequently off late. After every conversation - pleasant or unpleasant, after every job that got done – ordered manner or otherwise, after every message sent / received from friends – favorable or unfavorable, after every peak emotional experience – be it bliss or agony – I am getting the strong intuitive feeling that I didn't really do anything – Its all just happening in the mind according to my own karmic patterns.

In other words I have come to get to know a feeling that one aspect of me never changes no matter what happens outside and with every day this aspect is becoming of second nature to me.

Various coverings

The goal of every aspirant on the spiritual path must be to identify and remain as “Awareness”. Gurudeva states that this is the the most basic aspect which one should strive for. There are many coverings around awareness which we end up identifying in life during the experiences that it offers. Where awareness flows – energy goes. The practice is to try to remain as awareness.
When awareness becomes conscious of the body, and identifies itself with it – all the instinctive tendencies such as survival, mate, sensual pleasure, reactions such self defense are alive.
When awareness becomes conscious of the Mental/Emotional body we identify ourselves with emotions such as anger, sadness, happiness, depression, loneliness, pride, arrogance, jealousy, revenge etc and they appear very real.
When awareness becomes conscious of the Intellect – we are aware of science, problem solving, scheming, politics, stock market, investing, reasoning, world affairs, management etc. People in this state of conscious believe “reasoning” is the only God. If its not reasonable its not acceptable. They are of the probing nature and most of it is induced by fear and insecurity. The intellectual world is never ending as it keeps adding onto itself. In the corporate world the better the reasoning capabilities and intellect of the person the more valuable he is deemed by the organization which hires him. Higher the intellect greater the paycheck.
When awareness becomes conscious in the Super-conscious regions – fine arts, music, creativity, soothsaying, intuitional-problem solving instead of reasoning-problem solving, dance, instrumental music, breakthrough inventions in science and technology comes naturally to a person. For those mystics who live in these areas every day and night – the world looks like a playground. Awareness seems to expand rapidly in these areas of super-consciousness and man feels one with the world. Everything falls under the right perspective. Everyone enters these areas during deep sleep but only mystics know to enter these areas consciously.
Simply put when awareness is not conscious/attached to any particular area of mind and free to travel to any area of the mind can enter the super-conscious regions.
When awareness is only aware of itself, by consciously being directed on itself – it dissolves in its own essence my guru says. God Siva's all-knowingness may be experienced for brief periods by the meditator who turns within to his own essence. The Tirumantiram explains, "When the soul attains Self-knowledge, then it becomes one with Siva. The malas perish, birth's cycle ends and the lustrous light of wisdom dawns." Aum Namah Sivaya.
So the first step is to identify and stay as awareness before we realize Lord Siva – my guru says. Its a pre-requisite to knowing Lord Siva. A mental picture which guru describes for awareness is a golden ball having 4 eyes in 4 directions.

Mind - enemy or friend ?

No matter what happens to us out there in life, no matter how hard the experiences are given by life, no matter how difficult the tests are -- one thing is evident as every day passes, there is no greater enemy than our own uncontrolled minds. 

Nobody can be a bigger deterrent to your progress / peace than your own mind.

Understanding is control

 

A New outlook of life

By making the number of in-breath counts equal to out-breath counts -- and by holding the water-vapour-like-prana (blur and odic) just inhaled along with air in the solar plexus -- it is possible to effortlessly maintain concentration and willpower on a particular task for any desirable amount of time. Experienced this fact recently and realized its practical importance.


The only barriers that makes us lose focus from being awareness -- and force us to end up being the mind with its 60,000 useless thoughts we get on an average everyday -- and thereby prevent the "will" at the solar plexus to manifest "willpower" are

1. Mental Arguments with oneself or others.
   
2. Engaging mind in sexual fantasies.
   
3. Consuming Non-vegetarian food / those veg food which grow below the earth.

That way we don't add more into the subconscious dross -- and end up removing stuff from it.

If this is followed correctly -- it becomes easy to detect the other barriers due to the newly acquired siddhi -- which is the power of observation. The other barriers that i came across were

1. Thoughts/Beliefs implanted by society/parents in those early childhood days. These are tightly wired into our subconscious makeup - and some of them are plain erroneous.
2. Our very intellect which brought us till here in life and its associated novelties.
3. Strong Opinions/thoughts of people around us.

The intellect -- which is responsible for the "inner talk" in our mind can lead us on and on. Due to its being subtle in nature -- its more difficult to keep track of it and subdue it. In fact it may be happening this very moment as you read this post and you could still be unaware of it. But by a strong motivation and sheer will it quiets down eventually.

Thoughts, beliefs and goals that we have formed for ourselves in the past probably due to influence of family/relatives or sometimes books/novels also play an important role from capturing awareness in the mess of consciousness. One has to be there to understand what these subtleties mean.

Bottom-line is the more you remain the "watcher"/"awareness"/"energy", whatever you call it the more knowledge you receive in every minute of the day from this great University of Learning called Life.

Lord Krishna who recently celebrated His birthday in our home says these beautiful words in the Bhagavad Gita

When the yogi, by practice of yoga, disciplines his mental activities and becomes situated in Transcendence--devoid of all material desires--he is said to have attained yoga.


One should engage oneself in the practice of yoga with undeviating determination and faith. One should abandon, without exception, all material desires born of false ego and thus control all the senses on all sides by the mind.


From whatever and wherever the mind wanders due to its flickering and unsteady nature, one must certainly withdraw it and bring it back under the control of the Self.


The stage of perfection is called trance, or samadhi, when one's mind is completely restrained from material mental activities by practice of yoga. This is characterized by one's ability to see the self by the pure mind and to relish and rejoice in the self. In that joyous state, one is situated in boundless transcendental happiness and enjoys himself through transcendental senses. Established thus, one never departs from the truth and upon gaining this he thinks there is no greater gain. Being situated in such a position, one is never shaken, even in the midst of greatest difficulty. This indeed is actual freedom from all miseries arising from material contact.

As a lamp in a windless place does not waver, so the transcendentalist, whose mind is controlled, remains always steady in his meditation on the transcendent Self.


Steady in the Self, being freed from all material contamination, the yogi achieves the highest perfectional stage of happiness in touch with the Supreme Consciousness.

Hare Krishna

The Donkey and the Carrot

The title describes the way we live life daily in the conscious mind. We get an experience, feel it for a while and wait for the next. We believe the next emotion / experience experienced will be the highest in our life. No matter how many emotions we experience, the next set of those emotional experiences will be the high point of our entire life, and we are sure of it! That is the conscious mind.

This way the conscious mind carries us minute after minute, hour after hour, day after day, year after year, life after life. Novelty is its nature and ramification is its result. We can always find in the conscious mind some distraction to please us, to intrigue us, to dominate our awareness of other states of consciousness. And we don't have to look very hard to find it.

When we are in the conscious mind, we are like a donkey with a carrot in front of our nose. We are always walking to try to get that carrot. We are never satisfied, and we are never happy. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

While in the conscious mind -- We see people, we reason and relate our own condition with theirs, we feel sad when we find them to be in a better state "relatively". "Relative agony" is the key word which we follow unknowingly in our conscious mind. No matter how fortunate we have been, we feel unlucky when we discover that we find someone who is "relatively" more fortunate than ourselves, we feel ourselves as unlucky when we discover that we find a friend marry someone who is "relatively" well off or if we never got one, we say "they are so lucky -- wish i had that kind of luck too", no matter how much we earn we feel unlucky when we learn about "relatively" better hikes to a friend in a neighboring company. When we live in the conscious mind, we only surmise. We make guesses. We are never quite sure if we are right. That is the conscious mind, the part of you which you dare to think is real. It leads us on and on and on, life after life after life after life after life after life after life.




The mystic's goal is to control awareness while he is in the conscious mind -- to know where he is in consciousness. When he finds he is aware in the conscious mind, and the five senses have become his ruler, he then controls his awareness within the conscious mind itself. There are many way he does this -- breath control, enquiry, remembering and pondering on a chosen ishta devata (diety) etc.

A beautiful method below from my guru about how to control mind on the conscious plane.

There is a Saivite hermit, the venerable Markanduswami, living in a humble mud hut in Sri Lanka. He is very old, and was for many years a disciple of Jnanaguru Yogaswami. In fact, his every utterance is a quote from his guru. One afternoon at his hut he described Yogaswami's approach to dealing with thought during meditation. He said, "Yogaswami said, 'Realize Self by self. You want to read this book, that book and all these books. The Book of Infinite Knowledge is here (pointing to his chest). You'd better open your own book.' The prescription he gave me to open that book is this: 'When you are in meditation, you watch the mind. Here and there the mind is hopping. One, two, three,...a hundred. In a few seconds the mind goes to a hundred places. Let him be. You also watch very carefully. Here and there this mind is running. Don't forget Self for a second. Let him go anywhere, but if he goes to a hundred places, you must follow him to a hundred places. You must not miss even a single one. Follow him and note, He is going here. Now he is going there.' You must not miss even a single one. That is the prescription Satguru Yogaswami gave me to open this inner book. He said, 'Watch very attentively and learn to pick up things coming from within. Those messages are very valuable. You can't value them. Realize Self by self and open this inner book. Why don't you open your own book? Why don't you make use of it? Why don't you open your own book? What an easy path I am prescribing for you!' "

Be energy, think energy, feel energy

My Next goal to be attained : Steadfastness, dhriti: Overcoming nonperseverance,fear, indecision and changeableness.


Feel the energy at the centre of the spine, its like feeling something in a hollow space in you - something intangible. Its that easy to grasp the essence of the inner being, that which powers the nerves, the hands and the legs. That is the energy powers the whole body, powers the fingers i use to type, the same energy which manifests thoughts, the same energy which also makes me react. The same energy works in everyone and either makes a person a saint or a sinner depending on how he uses it. My guru says - Be this energy always. On doing it, one starts living in the present, soon starts seeing the clear white light in the head and things fall under the right perspective. Practice supersedes philosophy, intellectual knowing, everything -- so Be the energy and claim the inner being as you.

Its a higher state of consciousness to live in and you are more aware.

Remember that all the greatest souls have had the toughest experiences, heartbreaks, emotional disasters, they have also had the greatest temptations and distractions, they have all had enough experiences, so many experiences to make their awareness finally turn in on itself and be the pure energy. Enjoy the doing, enjoy the journey when you do it - not the end result, because the one which waits for the end result is but a subconscious habit pattern not the all intuitive self. Aum

Cyclic Habit Patterns

Old habit patterns repeat themselves when you are least aware. Thats why its very important to keep awareness continuously renewed in the present and remember past mistakes in order to not repeat them. A similar experience which i had blogged a few months back repeated itself. Life is truly a great university of constant learning. Its important to be steadfast in spiritual learning and meditation on a daily basis to improve and not repeat past mistakes. Laziness is a bad habit which doesn't allow a person to be steadfast. It often accompanies "Tiredness", so people who are tired often tend to be lazy. By controlling breath, it is possible to keep the mind and body relaxed and never get tired. So which again comes to keeping awareness always at the present. If this is possible -- all will be well.

Instead of getting frustrated when goals are missed - follow what the Tirumantiram states

The holy scripture - Tirumantiram states

When you seek to reach the Lord and miss your goal, take it as the work of your past evil karmas and fervently persevere in your devotion. You shall, at last, reach the Primal Lord.

Tirumantiram 2668

Dhyana Samarambhanam (Beginning to meditate)

A very dear friend of mine mailed me as follows -- "I am scared of meditating, I dont want to feel miserable, as u can recall I was feeling so, to the point that even wanted my life to end, Secondly I dont think I am fully matured or prepared to see good times and bad times as mere experience and not react to them."

This friend of mine had tried to do regular meditation and after some practice her sensitivity levels had increased and she started experiencing highly emotional states. According to traditional Hindu philosophy this is something that happens naturally to both a beginning and an advanced meditator.

Naturally many people give up meditation at this point of time and continue living in the world of the mind. It is the "Shakti" power - of meditation which gives these kind of surprises to the meditator. The latent karma which the individual has to experience at some point of time in future is brought to the "now" in meditation. As a result experiences become intense and many people give up not knowing that sooner or later this karma has to be experienced whether in this or future births.

Unanticipated Consequences

There are surprises, many of them, for the beginning meditator, as well as for those who are advanced -- unexpected consequences that are often more than either bargained for, because on the road to enlightenment every part of one's nature has to be faced and reconciled. This can be difficult if the experiences of life have been unseemly, or relatively easy if the experiences have been mostly comfortable. What is it that meditation arouses to be dealt with? It is the reactions to life's happenings, recorded in the subconscious mind, both the memory of each experience and the emotion connected to it. Buried away, normally, waiting to burst forth in the next birth or the one to follow it, these vasanas, or deep-seated impressions, often come forward at the most unexpected moments after serious meditation is begun. It is the shakti power of meditation that releases them. There can be no repressed secrets, no memories too woeful to confront for the serious meditator. These experiences can be scary if one is "in denial" about certain embarrassing or disturbing happenings.

When this upheaval occurs for you, and it will, combat the paper dragon with the deep, inner knowing that the energy of the body has its source in God, the light of the mind that makes thought pictures recognizable also has its source in God, and nothing can or has happened that is not of one's own creation in a past life or in this. Thus armed with Vedic wisdom, we are invincible to the emotions connected with the memory of formerly locked-away experiences. When they come rolling out, patiently write down the emotional impressions of hurt feelings and injustices of years gone by and burn the paper. Seeing the fire consume the exposed vasanas, the garbage of yesterday, is in itself a great release.

The beginning meditator may be shocked and shrink from even continuing the practice of meditation, as his inner mind plays back unhappy thoughts that impose themselves upon his shanti. Many stop meditating altogether at this point and turn instead to the distractions of modern life for solace.

But true meditation happens because of soul evolution. We evolve into meditative practices from bhakti, the yoga of devotion. The transition is earned through past good karmas, not chosen as an intellectual or recreational pastime. As the transition of external worship to internal worship is made, the devotee has to face all bad karmas cheerfully and honestly in order to resolve them and move forward.

Things around not feeling good

There comes a time in a mans life where after intense meditation and while carrying on normal life, one becomes very sensitive (which is good), this sensitivity will create emotions and attachment and small things start hurting him and he doesn't feel good about things the way they are. This is the exact period of time when one has to be extremely aware and not let the subconscious mind take over to old unuseful habits which are latent and hidden. Detaching awareness constantly from that which it is aware of has to be practiced constantly. Do anything that takes to achieve this, breath control, self-contemplation, vasana daha tantra, reading gurus advice, visiting temple, anything, but the end result has to be achieved which is staying in super consciousness. To be aware of awareness and everything else as states of mind.

Then a truly dynamic willpower comes in place of the weakness of mind and everything becomes beautiful. Things will work right, success comes in and relationships suddenly become beautiful.

How to go into Meditation

This article from my guru gave me clarity in how to enter and exit meditation which i wasnt following as perfectly as He had mentioned. These writings show how important a guru is in one's spiritual progress and why it is necessary to surrender to a guru to reach god.

Going into meditation

The refined, inner energy that you experience in your deepest meditations is always there, was always there and shall always be there. It's just there. You don't have to call upon it. It's just there. Just be aware that you are it, and not that you are any other of the many other types of things that you can be. Just be that intangible, tangible energy and don't be the emotions that you feel. Don't be thoughts that you think. Don't be the stomach that's hungry. Don't be the body that's moving. Don't be the place that you're going to. Just be that energy. Then you can do anything in the external world and really enjoy life.

Entry

Here are some basic signposts for successful meditation. Remember them and do them slowly on your own.

• First, sit up nice and straight with the spine erect and the head balanced at the top of the spine. Proper posture is necessary because the very simple act of equalizing the weight and having it held up by the spine causes you to lose body consciousness. Just the equalizing of your weight can do that.

• Breathe deeply and rhythmically.

• Feel the energies of the body begin to flow harmoniously through the body.

• Now try to feel the warmth of the body. Simply feel the warmth of the body. Once you can sense physical warmth, try to feel the totality of the nerve system at one time -- all of the five or six thousand miles of nerve currents. It's simple. Feel it all at one time and grasp that intuitively.

• Now, this nerve current is being energized from one central source, and we're going to find that source. It's in the central core of the spine.

• Feel that energy flow through the spine and out through this nerve system, which finally causes warmth in the physical body, which you've already felt. But now don't feel the warmth of the body. Don't feel the nerve system. Feel only the power of the spine. Once you have done this, you are ready to meditate.

You're alive in your body. You look alive. You look vital. Your face is beginning to glow. Next simply sit in a state of pure consciousness. Be aware of being aware. Don't be aware of a second thing. Simply be aware that you are aware -- a totality of dynamic, scintillating awareness, vibrant right in the central source of energy. It's closer to what you really are than your name, than your intellectual education, than your emotional behavior or the physical body itself, which you only inhabit. From this point in your own personal meditation you can take off and travel in many different directions. If your guru has given you a mantra, for instance, contemplate on the inner vibrations of the mantra. Chant it to yourself, or follow whatever inner instructions he has given you.

Exit

Coming out of meditation, we perform this process in reverse. Again feel the power of the spine and let that power flow right out through the nerve system, energizing the miles and miles of nerve currents. Feel your nerve system coming to life. Feel the warmth of the body as we come back into physical consciousness. Finally, open your eyes and view the external world around you and compare it to the internal world that you very rapidly just touched into in your meditation. It's easy to remember this entrance and exit to meditation. Do it often. Get to know the energy flows of the body. Live in the pure energy of the spine. Lean on no one. If you must lean on something, make it your own spine.

Step IV - Become The Watcher

The beginning stages of watching the mind think I shall describe as similar to sitting quietly with your eyes open and, while not thinking about anything in particular, simply looking at what is around you -- all of the time feeling somewhat empty on the inside, but seeing what is in front of you, to the left side of you, to the right side of you, above you, below you, and knowing what each object is, but not thinking about any object or collection of objects. Your eyes are watching; who lives behind them is the watcher. The objects that the mind perceives are similar to thoughts.

Your perfected state, too, as the watcher, is right there, deep within you. The next time you sit for meditation, follow my guru's advice to us all and witness your thoughts. Be that stationary awareness, holding form in its own perfection. All you have to do is to watch your mind think. Then and only then are you experiencing your perfect state of inner being. The only difference between the jnani and the novice is that the jnani stays in there longer as the watcher, whereas the novice experiences this only momentarily from time to time.
This is the result of a great abundance of your sadhana, and as the watcher, once stabilized within a new platform, a new beginning is commenced. There is much preparation that you can perform to attain this prolonged state more rapidly. There are some do's and don'ts to be heeded and explicitly obeyed. Do regulate your in-breath to equal the same number of counts as your out-breath, and feel the bliss of your body as it becomes relaxed and harmonized. Don't allow indulgence in sexual fantasy for even one moment. Do correct your diet to that of sattvic foods that grow above the ground. Don't indulge in mental argument with yourself or anyone else.
These four suggestions are the basic formula for cleansing the dross from the mind as well as from the subconscious by not putting more into it.

Step III - Consciously Superconscious

The following tirumantiram saying summarizes it all as to what i need to execute for Step III.

You need no shouting when you withdraw into understanding. You need no speaking when you are seated in superconsciousness. You need no holy rites when you are inwardly detached. You need no meditation when you have reached the actionless state.
Tirumantiram 1634

It is easier to know when you are NOT superconscious than when you are superconscious, because your superconsciousness is such a natural state. It is such a beautiful state. It is such a full, wholesome state to be in, that you are not aware generally that you are superconscious. When you are not feeling too well within yourself, you are not superconscious. When you are feeling really good and satisfied within yourself, you are superconscious. When you are arguing with yourself, you are not superconscious. You are flowing through an area of the intellectual mind, taking two points of view and flowing from one to another. When discussing something with someone, you are not superconscious, for superconsciousness is a one-way street. You speak right from the core of existence without really thinking about what you are going to say. You just speak out and hear what you said afterwards.

I liked the last sentence - I speak out and hear what i said afterwards :-)

If you can remain totally centered in awareness of the energy within your spine and the energy within the head, you become aware of the same energy within everybody and everything you see. You are immediately in a superconscious state when this happens. Therefore, the simple goal is, stay in this consciousness of energy for the rest of your life. It is just that easy, but it is not quite that simple to accomplish, because you have already trained your awareness to move into other channels of the mind, and it will do that automatically as soon as you cease to be aware of the energy within the spine.

All you have to do is to reprogram the subconscious a little and move awareness out of the conscious mind, and your journey is within. You are superconscious now. You have to accept that. You do not have to "get to be" superconscious. This is not something that is going to happen to you all of a sudden and then cause you to be different. The thing that is going to happen to you is that you will release your individual awareness from the so-called bondages of the habit patterns of the external mind that it had been accustomed to flowing through. Once it is released, you will automatically flow into other inner areas of the mind because you have been studying about them and now have the map clearly outlined for you.

Step II - Lean on your spine and get centered.

You are only that "AWARENESS" which visits different areas of minds, like how a traveler travels to different cities in the world. Just ponder over the words, AWARENESS, WILLPOWER, ENERGY. And you will be centered. You are that intangible energy that powers every muscle and vein in your body. Awareness has to pass through confused states of mind in meditation where consciousness tends to indentify itself with awareness itself rather than that which is aware of and has to be eliminated through the light of understanding. By becoming consciously conscious every moment, we live in the present fully aware of whats happening around, "Am i fully aware of what im doing right now?" .... "Im all right, right now" These will be mantras going forward from this moment. And I will find my self god in the that of the that of the that, I will, I Will and I WILL.

Excerpt from Sri Sri Sivaya Subramuniya swami's "Merging with Siva"Chapter 16 "Im all right right now", my loving guru:

We have to lean on our own spine. But first we have to claim our spiritual heritage and feel "I'm all right, right now." By saying this and believing it, we pull the energies in just a little and become centered again. When we ask ourselves point blank, "Am I all right, right now?" we have to come up with a "Yes." Lean on your own spine. Feel the power in the spine. Feel the energy in the spine. The energy in the spine is not concerned with any fear or worry or doubt -- not at all. It is a pure, powerful, blissful energy. Lean on it, and you will go crashing through into inner states of meditation. Things in the world will also work out right for you. You will be in the flow of life. You will have perfect timing. Beautiful things will begin to happen to you in the exterior world. Opportunities will open up for you where there were no opportunities before. People will become nice to you who ordinarily would not. All this and more begins to happen because mentally you are leaning on yourself, and people in general like you to do this.

Realization Is the Key

What does it mean to "get centered" and to "be centered"? Actually, what it means is to feel the primal source within, to feel so centered that you are the center. And we always are something of what we feel, our hands or our legs or our bodies or our emotions or our desires. Most people on the path have the desire to get rid of their desires. It's an impossible battle. Have you ever tried to get rid of your desires? If you would stop trying to get rid of your desires, then you would be centered, because you then take the energy out of desire. You take awareness away from that world of desire, and you get right in the primal source of the energy which flows through the physical body. It flows through the emotional network, right through the intellectual mind. That primal source of energy is flowing through the spine in each and every one of us this very moment. Feel it?

The entire spiritual unfoldment process, oddly enough, is designed to throw you off center so that you have to work to pull yourself on center. First life throws you off center. You have all kinds of experiences. You make mistakes and, with your indomitable will, have to control that fluctuating awareness to get it right on center and be all right, right now. Feel that powerful energy flowing through every nerve current and be that energy rather than the fluctuating nerve current. Then, one day, when you really get good at it, you find a guru. You are firmly on center, and he tries to throw you off.

My guru, Yogaswami, would always throw his disciples off center and set them spinning. They had to work hard with themselves to get on center again. That strengthens the sinews and the muscles of man's becoming himself, becoming totally aware that he is aware and then controlling his mind by not allowing his awareness to get caught up in the vast illusion of the externalities of the mind. How's that? That's a good one -- the vast illusion of the externalities of the mind!
What is this center? Well, it's like the inside of an empty glass. You know something is there, and when you're aware of it, you know that you're aware inside that empty glass. However, when you're aware of the glass itself, that's something else. When you're aware of the outside of the glass, that's something else again. When you're aware of the table the glass is sitting on, again that's something else. Now imagine you are like the glass. Become aware of the space inside. That is the tangible intangible you have to grasp.

The best way to work this is a very simple way. Let's try it now. Just open and close your hands and feel the muscles and the bones. Now feel an intangible something, an intangible energy, which is that life force, and soon you will feel a force within that. That is your force of awareness that gives the command to the life forces, to the muscles and sinews which open and close your hand. So, be that intangible force rather than the hand. Be the commander who commands the muscles to relax and tense, to open and close. It's an intangible reality. This you realize. You don't think about it. Your intellect cannot give it to you. Your instinct and emotions cannot give it to you. It's something you have to realize. When you grasp it, you start to unfold and awaken spiritually. It comes from the deeper chakras, the higher chakras. And it's very easy. You either have grasped it or you haven't grasped it. So, work with that and grasp that. Then the unfoldment process begins. Finally you begin to see light within the head, light within the body. You begin to have beautiful, beautiful inner experiences. Everybody these days wants to have profound inner experiences without the use of drugs, or without the use of anything but their own positive willpower. That's the goal of the unfoldment of the people of all nations today, according to my own poll. And it is the right and mature goal.

Enjoying the now and here ...

The most important lessons i learnt from the book 'dancing with siva' :-

Remember one thing, we have to get our joy out of the doing, not the result. That is the difference between the Oriental and the Occidental. The Oriental receives his joy in the doing, not the result. The Occidental rushes through his doing, thinking he will get his joy from the result, so is in a state of tension all the time. Life is a constant state of joy in doing. We will have mixed results if we look for joy in results, and our subconscious mind will be frustrated. Receive joy in everything you do.

Man is in a perfect state of being right now. The great sages and rishis found this truth. They were not more perfect than their contemporaries, just more aware. You are perfect this very moment. You are all that you will ever be. If you don't see it that way, then you live in a difficult state of affairs, striving toward perfection and being imperfect along the way.

Remain quiet and do not allow your emotional mind to talk to you. You are lost if it does, from reactionary habit patterns of the past, if you listen. As you pray each day, learn to concentrate, meditate and demonstrate your will over your mind. Demonstrate to yourself, and everybody else will see the result. Subdue ancient habit patterns latent in the subconscious mind. Then you will react not from anticipated reaction but from an action born of your intuitive nature. That is how to accomplish understanding.

Return to the source. Merge with Siva. At the source there is always peace. The key to this entire practice is to become consciously aware of energy. In this constant remembering we have the feeling of being the center of the universe, with the whole world functioning around us. To be fully anchored in the knowledge of the source of our being, the eternal now can and must be a constant experience. It's easy to live in the now if you work with yourself a little every day and concentrate on what you are doing each moment. To begin to work toward establishing yourself in the eternal now, first limit time and space by not thinking about or discussing events that happened more than four days past or will happen more than four days in the future. This keeps awareness reined in, focused. Be aware. Ask yourself, "Am I fully aware of myself and what I'm doing right now?"
Once you have gained a little control of awareness in this way, try to sit quietly each day and just be. Don't think. Don't plan. Don't remember. Just sit and be in the now. That's not as simple as it sounds, for we are accustomed to novelty and constant activity in the mind and not to the simplicity of being. Just sit and be the energy in your spine and head. Feel the simplicity of this energy in every atom of yourself. Think energy. Don't think body. Don't think about yesterday or tomorrow. They don't exist, except in your ability to reconstruct the yesterdays and to create the tomorrows. Now is the only time. This simple exercise of sitting and being is a wonderful way to wash away the past, but it requires a little discipline. You have to discipline every fiber of your nerve system, work with yourself to keep the power of awareness expanded. Regular practice of meditation will bring you intensely into the eternity of the moment. Practice supersedes philosophy, advice, psychology and all pacifiers of the intellect. We have to practice to keep awareness here and now. If you find yourself disturbed, sit down and consciously quiet the forces in yourself. Don't get up until you have completely quieted your mind and emotions through regulating the breath, through looking out at a peaceful landscape, through seeking and finding understanding of the situation. This is the real work of meditation that is not written much about in books. If you can live in the eternity of now, your life will be one of peace and fulfillment.

The 'now' principle ...

If i dont make a decision of doing something 'now' .... if i dont accumulate all the willpower and use it for achieving the goal now ..... i'd probably wont do it after an hour, or tomorrow or next year .... or forever in this life nor in a 100 billion lives ! .... The shastras say "Athatho brahma jignyasa" - meaning - Now that you have acquired the human form of life, start enquiring into the Absolute Truth. If you are now reading this blog .... stop reading it .... self cannot be found in the books or any literature ... it can be found only within you through vichara (enquiry). There is no use doubting or reading tons of literature, the right time to do it is NOW.

Focus, Concentrate, Ponder, Enquire !