Dhyana Samarambhanam (Beginning to meditate)

A very dear friend of mine mailed me as follows -- "I am scared of meditating, I dont want to feel miserable, as u can recall I was feeling so, to the point that even wanted my life to end, Secondly I dont think I am fully matured or prepared to see good times and bad times as mere experience and not react to them."

This friend of mine had tried to do regular meditation and after some practice her sensitivity levels had increased and she started experiencing highly emotional states. According to traditional Hindu philosophy this is something that happens naturally to both a beginning and an advanced meditator.

Naturally many people give up meditation at this point of time and continue living in the world of the mind. It is the "Shakti" power - of meditation which gives these kind of surprises to the meditator. The latent karma which the individual has to experience at some point of time in future is brought to the "now" in meditation. As a result experiences become intense and many people give up not knowing that sooner or later this karma has to be experienced whether in this or future births.

Unanticipated Consequences

There are surprises, many of them, for the beginning meditator, as well as for those who are advanced -- unexpected consequences that are often more than either bargained for, because on the road to enlightenment every part of one's nature has to be faced and reconciled. This can be difficult if the experiences of life have been unseemly, or relatively easy if the experiences have been mostly comfortable. What is it that meditation arouses to be dealt with? It is the reactions to life's happenings, recorded in the subconscious mind, both the memory of each experience and the emotion connected to it. Buried away, normally, waiting to burst forth in the next birth or the one to follow it, these vasanas, or deep-seated impressions, often come forward at the most unexpected moments after serious meditation is begun. It is the shakti power of meditation that releases them. There can be no repressed secrets, no memories too woeful to confront for the serious meditator. These experiences can be scary if one is "in denial" about certain embarrassing or disturbing happenings.

When this upheaval occurs for you, and it will, combat the paper dragon with the deep, inner knowing that the energy of the body has its source in God, the light of the mind that makes thought pictures recognizable also has its source in God, and nothing can or has happened that is not of one's own creation in a past life or in this. Thus armed with Vedic wisdom, we are invincible to the emotions connected with the memory of formerly locked-away experiences. When they come rolling out, patiently write down the emotional impressions of hurt feelings and injustices of years gone by and burn the paper. Seeing the fire consume the exposed vasanas, the garbage of yesterday, is in itself a great release.

The beginning meditator may be shocked and shrink from even continuing the practice of meditation, as his inner mind plays back unhappy thoughts that impose themselves upon his shanti. Many stop meditating altogether at this point and turn instead to the distractions of modern life for solace.

But true meditation happens because of soul evolution. We evolve into meditative practices from bhakti, the yoga of devotion. The transition is earned through past good karmas, not chosen as an intellectual or recreational pastime. As the transition of external worship to internal worship is made, the devotee has to face all bad karmas cheerfully and honestly in order to resolve them and move forward.