Illusion of free will

Free will is an illusion. This first occurred to me when i saw Shiva cursing Kamdev because Kamdev was trying to disturb his meditation. Upon further root causing Kamdev had a curse from Brahma that he will get this curse from Shiva or so when he was not paying attention to whatever he was teaching him.

Kamdev did not have a choice to not provoke shiva either when all the Gods asked him to.

https://youtu.be/pCofmZlC72g?si=09jvUbRgI8b_svtO

The above video is a deep dive from Sam Harris on the illusion of free will. If we have no control on what we think next, how can we say we have free will. Even the experience of the present moment is a memory created by the brain. And we experience that memory. If we have control over our thoughts then we should be able to think about what we are going to think. But we dont.

Everything a lover or a wife does is try to control the other. If unable to control she leaves. But if they themselves dont have free will are they really controlling you ? Who is orchestrating all this then ?

I had no control over the desire to crave for Dr role in DCAR, I got the desire that also I didnt have control, I acted on the desire that also i did not have control, I did not get the role, that also I didnt have control, I was disappointed and left to AMZ that also I didnt have control, I was over working at AMZ due to the team where i was put in - that also i did not have control, and wanted to get into a better WLB that also i didnt have control, the offer i received from GEHC at that exact time that i also i didnt have control. Coming back to a team where i had some members I had no control. Meeting people who i felt like i had a connection I had no control, desires I had no control. Loss of connection I had no control. 

Where was I ever in control?

Btw went to Nandi hills and saw couple of Butterflies mting and Nandi and Shiv temple. I whispered in Nandis ears to help me be like Him in cmplete surrender to Shiva from that moment. And to bless my friend from TF separation towards a harmonious union free from Karmics.