Toxicity & Craving

 Gurudeva explained these three aspects to me today in Meditation

"I want it for me alone." is Obsession

"I want it but someone is getting it." is Jealousy

"I want it but not getting it / it is not giving me what I want." is feeling of Neglect / uncared for

First, "I want it for me alone." Recognize this thought pattern. Feel its energy. This is obsession. It's the ego grasping, trying to possess something exclusively. But remember, in this phrase, "I" is the ego, "want" is the desire, and "it" is merely the knowledge of the object. The object itself isn't causing the obsession - your mind's relationship to it is.

Now, "I want it but someone is getting it." Let this thought resonate within you. Feel the emotions it stirs. This is jealousy. Again, "I" is the ego, "want" is the desire, and "it" is the knowledge of the object. The jealousy isn't in the object or the other person, but in your mind's reaction to the situation.

Lastly, "I want it but not getting it." Sit with this thought. Notice the feelings it evokes. This is the sensation of feeling ignored and uncared for. Once more, "I" is the ego, "want" is the desire, and "it" is the knowledge of the object. The feeling of being ignored doesn't come from external circumstances, but from your mind's interpretation of events.

Now, take a deep breath and realize a profound truth: all three of these scenarios are within you. They are creations of your mind, products of your ego and desires interacting with your knowledge of objects and situations. Because they are within you, they can be controlled through surrender.

Imagine releasing your tight grip on these wants and desires. Feel the relief as you surrender the need to control outcomes. Observe how peace flows in as you let go of obsession, jealousy, and the feeling of being ignored.

But there's more to understand. Sometimes, even when you have the knowledge that something isn't what you truly want or need, you may still feel desire for it. Picture this scenario: you know an object or situation isn't good for you, yet you still want it. This persistent desire in the face of contradicting knowledge is due to a lack of awareness. Bring your attention to this gap between knowledge and desire. See it clearly. Understand that true freedom comes not from fulfilling every desire, but from being fully aware of why you desire what you desire.

when it comes to people your knowledge that they are Selfish with complete lack of Empathy, Egoistic (and think they are 100% right and clear all the time), Sly (having or showing a cunning and deceitful nature), Disloyal (loyalties change quickly and they deceit with various tricks), Disrespectful, Ungrateful (don't even thank you for any help you offer), Lack Integrity (commit and do not follow up on their words), Dishonest/Sly until caught red-handed, Think they are a blessing on earth though they are more of a curse, Highly Talkative due to their own obsessions and cravings, Neither Loyal to family nor others, they feel Unworthy inside but project something else outside, full of guilt. Food is the most important thing for them.