Be the energy

There are only two possible ways the awareness gets dispersed and we are what is popularly called "lost in the game"

- an event in the conscious mind which linksto another thought causing a chain reaction
-past residual impressions popping up all of a sudden

these two distractions prevent me from being consciously conscious.

Watch the watcher, that is the way out.

while meditating today felt the being of energy in me, this energy is always there and is called by many names - awareness, willpower or energy.

When this energy gets conscious of limiting thoughts due to past conditioning, we feel like a being with limits. This results in misidentification.

This is what I learnt today when I went within.Aum

Gurudeva in dream

My guru Sri Sivaya Subramuniya Swami had come in my dream this early morning. I see him meditating and stay back there looking at him while others move away.

I will consider my life successful if I can achieve 0.1 % of what he had achieved in his lifetime - the understanding of different states of mind, the ability to use the inner eye for understanding and bringing knowledge from within, speaking only out of intuition, the ability to maintain persistence in sadhanas, the ability to realize the self, parasiva, the ability to describe the ancient agamas even without ever having read them.

I surrender at your feet gurudeva. Thanks for changing my life and giving me the right perspective to face life's tests.

Aum namah Sivaya

Siva's world of opposites

It is only when we get into poor health do we really appreciate good health which we take for granted daily.

It is only when we lose and miss people do we realize their importance in our daily life.

It is only when we are ignored /avoided do we realize the value of people who love us unconditionally.

It's only when you are extremely busy and don't have time for what you want to do, do you realize that time is precious when it was available to you which you didn't make use of.

It's only when you are blind and in dark do you realize the value of eyes and light.

It's only when you lose people do you realize the value of relationships and insignificance of money.

It's only when you give abundantly, so much that it hurts, that you realize that you really aren't the giver, but  just a channel in the act of "giving" which the universe does everyday.

It's only when you experience the other person, do you really realize that you are one with him/her.

It's only when the world experienced 2 wars did it realize the value of peace.

It's only when you are bankrupt and in recession do you realize the importance of spending money wisely, living within ones means & value of contentment.

This Siva's beautiful world of opposites has been designed such, so that we learn from the opposites, duality and finally merge in our real identity which is Nondual.

Aum namah Sivaya

Accepting things as they are

Off late, the fiery passion I had for spiritual progress has suddenly gone down, maybe due to the influence of the buddhist book which I read called "the zen mind, beginners mind".

Something about the book made me feel that even the desire for enlightenment must be given up. Life and it's expression is very simple but the mind makes us complicated. We must unlearn more in spirituality than learn. We must 'be' than do. We must enjoy the journey than imagining a future enlightenment which is yet to be attained. How can you become that when you are already that. Any idea of enlightenment is a self created principle, a projection of the mind. A deviation from the now.

All that's needed in Buddhist meditation is accept the fact that there is no goal,  because you are already that which you seek,  the search is always in the wrong way.
The desire has fallen down after reading this. To desire what? That which I am!? If I am seeking a state, then I would be in the mind in duality. The seer can never see himself, all he can do and must do is to be quiet and allow the infinity to express itself.

Aum

There are no accidents

Was searching for something over the weekend and accidentally stumbled upon this website. Talks about the various states of meditation

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/ptf/dhamma/sacca/sacca4/samma-samadhi/jhana.html

And since there is no such thing called accident, I went deep into the article and it helped me understand the missing point in my meditation -- directing thought and continuous evaluation (which the article calls as evaluation)

Both mind and breath start from the same point, its not possible for the mind to be active when breath is traced to its source and kept there. Breath and mind are very related, controlling one automatically controls the other.