Learnings in 2011

This year had been one of great year of learnings for me, I'm really grateful to Almighty for this. Met the right souls living in various places on earth who happened to catalyze my observation skill.

Let me quote my gurudeva here: "observation is a quality of the soul, advanced souls are in a state of observation all the time"

The biggest learnings the year provided me is mainly due to internet and technology, so thanks to all the engineers for making this possible by their hard work, passion & willpower.

This year I owe my major learnings to Sri Ramakrishnananda whose teachings made me understand the aspects of my ego and of course this coupled with my gurudeva's and his gurudeva's (Yoga Swami) teachings helped me gain the perspective of "arise of wisdom by observation"

Last but not least my thanks to the great seers, yogis, swamis, munis, Sannyasins, gurus & spiritual leaders of Hinduism in both present and ancient India who discovered all this knowledge of the soul and its journey from their gurus, deep meditation, contemplative life and spiritual counterparts.

some of the biggest realizations this year:
+ we are whom we meet

+ ego has only two characteristics: seek pleasure, escape from pain, all activities of all people in all of the universe can be categorized in these two aspects. This is the game of the ego

+ whether you are loving God for  escaping from pain(hell / difficult life, death, disease) or expectation of pleasure (heaven), you are back to square one and playing the game of the ego

+ only if you can renounce this game of seek pleasure/escape pain and remain the watcher in all action (karma yoga), all emotion (bhakti yoga), all physical body movements (hatha yoga) can you be a free soul capable of going in any direction of infinite possibilities

+ ego is when the seer identifies himself with the instruments of seeing: the physical eye and third eye

+ all that we know today is an imitation

+ fear and desire arrive due to memory of past and their projection into future

+ everything external to you is a representing an aspect of your own ego

+ there is this vicious cycle of jnana (knowledge), icha(desire) and Kriya(action) that all our mental activities are composed, this is how we go about making decisions in life

+ once you begin observing your consciousness, you also end up observing where others are in consciousness when you interact with them, thus you are now looking at a person inside out

+ the conscious mind aspect of the ego: its ability to keep the awareness busy in some sort of ramification our the other examples: internet, songs, social networks, videos, movies, food choosing: breakfast and dinner, new clothes, accessories, shopping etc

+ the subconscious mind aspect of the ego: repressed desires, instinctive desires, animal nature, repression unleashed in dreams and their benefits and threats, alcohol and its effects on catalyzing the subconscious as well as superconscious mind

+ the sub of the subconscious mind: its ability to mix two separate subconscious experiences to provide a third experience which is totally new, surprising, unexpected and uncalled for.

+ the superconscious mind aspect of the ego: The one which observes and knows all the time, the eee and c sounds meeting at the top of the head to provide the inner light experience, breath and its connection with thoughts, benefits of hatha yoga to sustain the super conscious states of contemplation, intuition and inner guidance through help of Gods in temple, kundalini energy, chakras and the evolution of soul, knowledge of advancing the souls evolution by many lives by reciting the Vedic mantras (inner psychic sounds) in a proper way

All this and more just by attempting to be in the "now", Aum Namah Sivaya, Jai Ganapathi

Steve Jobs Sayings

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Dreams and its consequences

A repression is defined as a desire which is suppressed in us. now why would you suppress a desire? there could be many reasons - society may see it as bad, religion may have put thoughts in your head that its bad etc

Such repressions are buried in the subconscious - my guru says. Only on keen observation can one identify these within their minds.

There may be a situation where the desire you have suppressed may be right in front of you, and you will still choose to suppress it.

Such repressions sometimes show up in dreams, where there is absolute freedom for the mind to imagine/create any situation. In dreams the mind is free to do anything as it has a sense of absolute freedom and not being watched. Its easier to make mistakes in dreams.

The downside of it is, its possible to get attached to something in dreams as well. As a classic Example: There may be a good friend of you of the opposite sex who you like or admire, and one night you dream about this person and have a good time -- this friendship can become more attached and turn into love in the dream. This can later make the attachment real even in the waking states for an unobservant person.

Such attachments once formed have their own consequences which we are well aware in this real world which will inturn cause waterfall side effects.

The key is to be observant always - whether it be waking states or dreams. Observe the mistake, observe the resulting consequences of that. This will bring knowledge, This will bring wisdom to the soul.

Aum Namah Sivaya

 "It is the wise man who recognizes the importance of controlling the forces of his mind. His life is a struggle to make his philosophy real, to gain control of the cycles of experience which have tied him to the wheel of karma. "

-- Gurudeva

Pollution

There is pollution at all levels, what I mean by pollution? It's the ideas, concepts, thoughts, beliefs, good or bad that have been put into your head by parents, religion, society, movies, country, news, spiritual leaders , people who have influenced you in life etc

Was meditating today, trying to be the watcher, I see the following

+ I remember Ramana maharishi saying of I'm not this body, not this hand, legs, eyes, ears, thoughts
+ remember the thought "just be" by Jon kabat zinn
+ hear the sound of nada ~~~e and c sounds, above left and right ear, relate it to gurudeva sayings
+ see how ego tries to stick on to thoughts again and again, remember amma bhagavan sayings at this point on how thoughts use you for their survival, about how mind is like donkey, you should be riding the donkey not the other way around
+ remember patanjali sutras at this point about how ego appears when seer identifies himself with object of seeing and I try detaching myself from both physical eyes and the third eye ~ ajna chakra
+ then I say I'm not even the chakras and also not the one which says ~not this not this ~ from Ramana maharshi again
+

Timeless dimension

Love the Swami RamaKrishnananda discourse, it is sooooo sooooo sooooo deep. Changed the perspective I have on life.

•  all our life is not those 30 40 50 years of time that we think we live, that's just an illusion of future which has been put into your head by society, all my life is the now

•  all our desires if you observe deeply, either it's for more money, more happiness, more material goods, more love, better career -- in real is a seeking for lesser limitation, more expansion, all our desires are not for actual paper money, is for expansion, once this expansion is experienced in the now, what you desire is here and now, and the desire ceases to exist in the now. Desire is future, how many times have you desired eating an ice cream, and when the ice cream actually came to you, your mind saw a better car on the road and it forgot enjoying the ice cream and was again in future desire for the car?

•  in Reality there is no fear as reality is in the now, in illusion there is fear,if an atom bomb explodes now, there will be death and no fear, only if the news of an atom bomb exploding comes a day in advance to a city there will be fear and panic, hence to fear we need time, the now is no time, is again a concept put into your head, in the now there is no fear, you are full of life and timeless, my guru says you have transcended even life and death in the now, the now is eternal

•  According to Buddha the biggest misery that the human being has is that he gives up the now, the present moment in search of less limitation and more expansion and forgets that he is already that expansion that he is searching for. Thus he spends life in endless pursuits. The empty space that you observe within you when you observe a thought, that is the expansion

• We see and remember something of the past, imagine it in future, and that's the moment when a desire / fear /anger /jealousy arises, and our actions are based on that - this is how all actions are traceable to past memories.

• True Meditation is a process of paying attention to the ego and being that attention ALWAYS

What is this mind

After many days of observation, here are some conclusions on the ego

While Seeing
+ the conscious mind triggers thoughts
+ thoughts can be instinctive
+ thoughts can be  memories related to past experiences
+ if instinctive it can lead to complete "take over" of body and mind (reflex)
+ this prevents it to see things as they are
+ this prevents it from staying in the present
+ Seen events are either favorable or unfavorable
+ is attached to events that are favorable, give pleasure and comfort

Unfavorable 
+ any perceived threat to comfort causes fear,
+ this fear triggers it to plan for escape from pain
+ this escaping makes it take an action - a short term and a long term
+ short term action could be avoiding a situation or person
+ long term action could be planning for a better escape
+ planning causes it to imagine a future
+ this imagination is based on memories of past

+ thinks about the loss of its attachments while doing such planning
+ if past hasn't been good, imagines a difficult future and feels helpless
+ when in need of making a decision, it relies heavily on past memories

+ all actions are based on past memories

Favorable

+ When no threat is perceived, those are treated as favorable

+ Starts thinking of where it should be (future) for more pleasure

+ Compares itself with people who are more successful and famous

+ Equates money to success

+ imagines a future where it can get that success

+ this imagination is based on memories of past

+ plans of partnering with people / working on those goals

+ all Actions are imitation of people / ideas who have influenced it

Living in Past

+ playback memories of people / events and their actions who have influenced

+ these influential memories could be from TV shows, Movies or Real people

While in Contemplation

+ observations leads to learning's
+ anger and fear lead consciousness to jealousy

Conclusion: All actions - physical / mental are triggered by memories (past)

Emptiness

The emptiness will bring you everything, it is not you. The emptiness is not the ego, the emptiness is the now.

Be the empty watcher and all shall be well. Love you gurudeva for making me understand the depth of these words.

Aum

Steve Jobs

I like this guy, he is free from this illusion of the way the world is around us.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvEiSa6_EPA&sns=em

Wandering mind

The mind wanders along the same path many times every day in the conscious plane. Usually happens when we see something while walking on the road or seeing something at home.
It's so easy to predict what the thoughts would be in advance itself. I sometimes laugh at my own thoughts seeing how instinctive they are at times.
All these thoughts tell a story. It's the story of my ego not me. This ego is the result of countless lives of entering flesh animal or human in this world from time unknown. Can't criticize it can't accept it, can't allow it, can't repress it, it only seeks pleasure and averts from pain.
What to do under such circumstance? Only watch. That's what the great gurus say.
- Watching our action is karma yoga
- Watching our emotions is bhakti
- watching the effect of our thoughts and emotions on our body is hatha yoga.
- remaining the watcher of all these is remaining in the soul, is remaining in the now
Aum namah Sivaya