The nature of the ego

When we are toddlers we are fine. We don't think of future or past. We enjoy every moment. Every instant and we think this is how life is going to be always.  I remember when i was a small kid I thought that I will always be the same size, my parents will always remain the same way (I didn't know that we all grow old). I thought my family will remain the same way eternally.

We start schooling then suddenly fear of past or future comes into the nerve system. Thanks to teachers and their punishments in the name of discipline. Thus we start competing with other kids. We just want to complete one class and move on to the next with better grades.  Then repeat the same in the next class and so on. We want to be better than all the other kids.

At some point we forget the present and focus on growing up fast, getting out of school and getting into a job. We struggle and work hard to get into a job.

Once we get into a job, we focus on being the best employee and get perks for the same from boss. We struggle to get a better raise, a better income,a better position and when things become  peaceful we finally want a better job with more money.

We strive again to impress the next organization with our work and talents. This repeats until we get bored of all this one day and want to have so much money that we don't have to work at all. We now get into the mode of investing and gambling in the stock market to get quick bucks. We hate to pay taxes and we find different means to reduce it or avoid it.

As the body grows more we strive hard to get out of the state of being single and find an attractive partner, we try dating but failing and retrying. At times we do find someone with mutual liking but have to still struggle to make it work and lead to marriage if at all it happens.

Once we are married for a few years. We want kids. If that happens after a while we find being single more exciting and want to get out of marriage.

Once we have money and the possessions we want, we strive again to maintain the same standard of income and earnings and maybe try to increase our assets more.

Always in a state of  discontent we strive for the next better job, partner, food or recreation.

We live as though we will never die. And we die as though we have never lived.

We live as though we are always right in life only to get reminded by life that we are always wrong. We search always for a limitless nature in every aspect food, sex, money yet we never recognize or awareness as that unlimited Self inside us which watches the whole unfolding drama.

During difficult experiences we feel like dying but when actually dying we badly want to live.

We want stability in job and career yet we want change as well.