Beginning to see the mind for what it is

 

Recent Changes in life are making me more inward. I’m beginning to live 2/3rd within. I’m beginning to feel the excitement of living within. I’m observing my own mind more than ever before in this lifetime and in a more focused way instead of counter-reacting when someone else reacts at me. I observe how my ego behaves at certain circumstances, on further observation, i understand that each response the ego makes is due to past conditioning.

Yes, I'm beginning to see the mind for what it is – a self created principle.

The way the mind works becomes more clear in day to day activities for example: when I go to watch a movie outside home. I see frustrated people, happy people – all having one thing in common – desire to “enjoy life to the fullest”. 

The mind observes and compares lifestyles of other people with itself, assumes and judges that - that is better, this is not, frets, worries, seeks for alternate solutions, thinks about consequences for the solutions just thought of, goes to past to see why the current condition could not be avoided, dreams about the new lifestyle had the avoiding been a success, thinks about future and worries if there is a hope, worries about things that might happen (which usually never happen), blames others for the conditions caused, ploys about how to get around it with least impact, appreciates the ones who have made it, condemns those who haven't, again attempts to seek if an alternate solution is possible, takes opinions from others, feels helpless about its own self-created state, before finally accepting things as they are. Then, it looks back and intuits the chain of thoughts – one leading to the other – which had engaged its awareness so far !

This kind of observation of mind exposes the faults of one’s own ego and usually makes the individual dislike his own ego. The more and more a person observes his own ego, there is a good chance to dislike oneself and even laugh at oneself for encouraging the kind of thought patterns that have been keeping his mind on the run in this lifetime (any many more?).

I am beginning to see that there is really no need to watch a TV or movie for entertainment. Just watching one’s own mind gives a lot of entertainment. Watch the mind play both the roles of antagonist and protagonist in any conversation or event occurring in the external world. Who is the one who observes these “movies”. Gurudeva says - Its the soul which sees and understands these experiences through its super-conscious faculties.

As amma bhagavan says – there is nothing the poor mind can do, it has the same thinking patterns created by itself, it always wants to be where it is not, always wants what it cannot have, always takes a position other than where it is, always thinks about where it should be rather than where it is. The poor mind cant really do anything :) ....... It has to give up by understanding that there is nothing it can do about it and that it is nothing but a big Zero. Only then can grace take over.